Message Box

About Ayaan:
Most children have something they either love doing or something they’re naturally good at or even something they simply enjoy.

Ayaan was very passionate about football! He was a big Arsenal fan and loved playing football – whether on the field, watching it on TV or playing it on the computer – he loved it and he was good at it Alhamdulillah 💙⚽️

I remember when Ayaan first started playing football and I was so worried and scared that he would get injured by other players.
I would give him long lectures before any match… “if someone bigger or taller than you comes for the ball.. just let them have it!!…remember it’s just a game and it’s not worth getting injured for…!!”
Ayaan and his dad would look at me like I was crazy 😖. At times they would threaten to ban me from coming to watch him play because I would make them so nervous! 😧

Although in my eyes he was my fragile boy, my first born and I wanted to protect him… Ayaan was something else on the football field!

He was one of the smallest players, but he was also one of the most feistiest defender’s on the pitch!
Like his managers would to say, he wouldn’t hesitate to tackle someone who was twice his size.

Above is a picture of Ayaan’s profile interview from his team St Albans City Dragon’s FC 2016 booklet, he was 10 at that time.

Every time I read this, it makes me feel so proud of our Ayaan, Alhamdulillah he always had the the most beautiful, honest and sincere answers. 😌💙

This was a beautiful poem that was personally chosen and read out by Ayaan’s Headteacher – Alan Gray. Which was presented at Ayaan’s tribute Assembly.

We would like to thank Alan for choosing such a beautiful poem that we feel described our son perfectly.

About Ayaan:
Beautiful portraits of our family drawn by Ayaans talented cousin brother Ihsan (10yrs) @ihsans_world 💙😢

Ma-shaa-Allah, his attention to detail is amazing! I love the way his captured Ayaans love for football and his beautiful big smile 💙⚽️. Ayaan would have loved this Ihsan!! Thank you 😌👌🏼

About Ayaan:
First snow day without our Ayaan and it was very difficult 💔. He LOVED the snow and loved giving us instruction on what we needed to do…”Sahar you collect the snow from this side, …Amo you go and get the stuff for the nose and eyes…don’t forget my Arsenal scarf…” 😔💔

This year Sahar didn’t want to make a snowman, she wanted to make something special. “Amo..let’s make the Jannah (heaven ) house Ayu is staying in..” She desperately hunt through her toy box looking for her bucket and spade.

Allhamduliah she is our strength and rock and without out her we wouldn’t be so strong. Please keep our beautiful Sahar in your prayers🤲🏻
May Allah swt reunited us one day in Ayu’s beautiful Jannah house. Ameen🤲🏻💙

Rock painting by Ayaan’s cousins 💙

Trying to adjusting to loss is a very lengthy process but also very unique to each and every person. Our children face the same jumble of confusing emotions, but they mourn differently than adults. Unlike grown ups, children do not usually have the words to express their grief, so it tends to show up in their mood, play, and behaviour.

With my creative background as an Art, Design and Technology teacher I always found art therapy to express and process emotions very useful. I would definitely recommend this process as it can benefit both children & adults.
“When you draw or colour, words are not needed. There’s a connection between the head, the heart, and the hand which can helps them express many feelings.”

About Ayaan: Allhamduliah such a beautiful gesture. 😢 @abdulraheem91

Thank you for honoring our beautiful Ayaans memory with such meaningful tribute. We would like to say Big thank you for being so supportive and amazing for the past 5 years. Our respect and admiration for you as Ayaans teacher and a good friend cannot be expressed in words. Not only did you support him to do extremely well in school but you & Mr Khan made him love Maths and science even more than he already did. You have been very special and instrumental in Ayaan life so we would like to say thank you from the bottom of our heart.
JazakAllah khair 🤲🏻😌

About Ayaan:
One of Ayaan’s favourite fruits were strawberries🍓. He could happily eat strawberries everyday!! However, after he was diagnosed with IBD (Ulcerative colitis) , he was no longer able to eat strawberries as this would cause him internal inflammation and then irritate his stomach. At times he would get really upset when we would go out shopping and not bring strawberries home. It would break my heart every time he would get upset and say to me he can’t wait to eat strawberries again one day😔. Ayaan I hope you have loads of beautiful strawberries trees in Jannah (heaven). I hope your eating load of yummy, beautiful, delicious strawberries every single day! In-Shaa-Allah we look forward to the day when we all can sit down and eat them together again 🤲🏻 Ameen. Rock painted by Ayaan’s cousin sister Maysa💙

Our Mishti Story

During covid lockdown Ayaan had convinced us to get him a cat, a therapy cat. He explained to us that having a cat would help him stay distracted throughout the day especially when he was feeling unwell. He emphasised how the cat would help him to relax & cope with stress. With a lot of evidence under his belt, he convinced both me and my husband to get him a cat, despite my husband being absolutely terrified of cats. Ayaan was so excited when we finally agreed that he immediately started looking for potential names.

“ We MUST give the cat a Bengali name Amoo (mum) because it will be part of our Bengali family!” After several hours of research & discussions, Ayaan came up with two names depending on the colour the cat. “Mishti” if it’s a dark cat and “Nimki” if it’s a light coloured cat. Both names are Bengal desserts.

With the name in mind we started our search for either a Mishti or a Nimki. I had contacted several breeders but unfortunately was let down several times. This started to really upset Ayaan and his little sister Sahar.😒

During the process of looking for a kitten Ayaan was unfortunately hospitalised.

However, that did not stop my search. I was determined to find a perfect kitten for my boy, so I desperately got in contact with several other breeders and had finally reserved a beautiful kitten for Ayaan, which I had planned to surprise him with when he returned home.

Unfortunately, Allah had decided that Ayaan would not be returning home with us  but would return to a better home – to Allah SWT. 😢

Ayaan didn’t return home and nor did we pick up the kitten. 😔 Now looking back at it all SubhanAllah, Allah SWT knew Ayaan would not be here for his cat, he didn’t want us to go through the pain and sadness of bringing a cat home that would have continuously reminded us of our Ayaan and how desperately he wanted this cat.

4 months after Ayaan leaving us, our daughter being the only child now started to get lonely at home. We were unable to go and see family and friends and relied on FaceTime quite frequently.

One morning, during breakfast I could tell something was on Sahars mind. I asked her want was wrong and she replied “ I wish Ayu didn’t go to Jannah…we would have had him and a cat too..” At this point I realised my emotions of not being able to bear the thought of having a cat without Ayaan was compromising my daughters ability to be happy, in the midst of everything I realised that I did not even consider how my poor girl must been feeling- just like her brother, she too was excited about having a pet until our world had  fallen apart and she lost not only her brother but her her best friend. At that point I was so heart broken and full of guilt that I decided that we would go get her a kitten, after all its what Ayaan would have wanted.  On that same day I made several enquiries and Alhamdulillah I got a message from a lovely breeder saying  she had a kitten that was available and ready to be taken to it’s forever home!  Alhamdulillah within 48hours, with crazy last minute cat shopping I bought ‘Mishti’ home….a day before Sahar’s 7th birthday!

Alhamdulillah, Allah is the best planner Sahar and Mishti have such a strong bond that they are inseparable and inn Shaa Allah their bond continues to strengthen. I also realised my Ayaan was right, Mishti is a therapy cat as Mishti has helped us as a family cope in ways that I cannot express with words. Alhamdulillah.💙🤲🏻

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